Her mother had limited eyesight so any letters to the family had to be taped. Cindy broke down six times trying to make the tape. After the last take, she threw herself down on the bed and cried for a half-hour.The letter was an idea proposed by Cindy's counselor. It ensured that she could finish what she had to say, and it could remove the effects of someone being shocked and saying something they would regret later. It seemed like the cowards way out to Cindy, but then she never claimed to be brave.Suddenly, Cindy pushed open the car door walked quickly to the mailbox and deposited the envelope. As the door to the box closed she felt an instant of panic, then a feeling of sad relief. Whatever happened now, happened. It was out of her hands now. By this time tomorrow, things would be radically different. Maybe better, Maybe worse, but definitely different. She didn't look forward to tomorrow.Back in the car, the tears overflowed again. The balance of the day passed in a sort of fog.. You have a picture of yourself in your mind. You have a pictureof 'Barbie', of you. You are a beautiful, graceful, elegant woman. Youare a blonde, a blonde Barbie. Can you imagine what a blonde Barbielooks like?" I felt a picture form in my mind, slowly, languidly. imight have nodded, or someone did. "Can you imagine what a blondeBarbie should act like?" I think I heard the question. "We will helpyou to understand yourself and to be yourself. As your psychiatrist andas your friend I will help you to be yourself."First, we you shall learn to use makeup. Nurse Hargreaves willdemonstrate, and you will learn quickly. You enjoy wearing makeup, soyou will practise until using it is completely natural to you." Hespoke to someone else. I didn't hear it.I must've been under for quite some time, but it was all patchy to me.I remember seeing myself in the mirror a couple of times, whilst Helenwas showing me how to apply some element of facepaint. I was only ableto register how different I.
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